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Intention in a ceremonyFrom: Swedich Dragon
Subject: Practice
Date/Time 2010-08-17 01:37:06
Remote IP: 84.217.118.151
MessageHello Wendy!
Thanks for your words.
There are so many things going on just now in my life so this old issue
has to wait. But still it was coming up from my inside.
I respond back shortly to your responce. But has to go deeper into this later on.
I think that you are right in that it is important to be clear about the intentions. I think you also might be right in that there is a huge risk that there is another intention of meeting again. That has been the case before and that has been the reason for many years to let this pass. My feelings though are that this time it is now a meating again that is my inner need. It is just a meeting again to clear out old issues we had. It might actually be exactly this thing that has changed. After 22 years we might finaly be ready to go into this without the need to create a new relationship except the meating for clearing out the old.
This is what I am feeling for the moment. But it will come up alot of feelings in such a process and I canīt tell for shore if there is another intention behind.
Regariding many things happening in my life for the moment. Yeasterday I was writing a long post about what is happening in my country today. It was about right wing gouvernments treatment of the health insurance system. Many ill people in my country take theire lifes going thrue all the demands created by the government. I canīt explain it short. But the gouvernment has changed the health insurance system to the lowest level amoungst all the countries in the OECD. America, Western Europe and Australia basically. Iīm going thrue all this for the moment and are dealing with.
Job issues
The risk of loosing my master degree exame, the right to continue
Health problem that might be worse due to ecomomic issues and stress and worries
The demand to be at a gouvenrmental institution to search job, the time that I not work.
Long travel times to the job I already have.
Social conflicts at the job I am at.
Starting teaching a new class and having the demand from my boss to also take other classes as well, which I didnīt know about untill wery resently.
No good relationship with a doctor that might help me with health insurance issues
Wery bad treatment from one person at the gouvernmental instituation dealing with health insurance issues, my case.
All in all wery much stress and pressure on me for the moment. I have to say a bit to much and I hope I find out a way to deal with it. First time since wery long that I have difficulties finding a strategy for how to accomplich my goals: Short term goals: Working for better health, Taking my master degree, Dealing with my financial situation.
And the biggest question of all. Why the hell does the majority of the people in my country wote for a right wing extremist party, that only make things wery much easier for the rich and make pressure on the population so that even many take theire lifes! I find it wery difficult to undesrtund.
I might give my wersion of what happens in my country at saturday, my non working day. Now I have to deal with some of the issues.
SD
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