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semen retention and multiple partnersFrom: Swedich Dragon
Subject: Practice
Date/Time 2010-07-17 19:18:32
Remote IP: 84.217.112.109
MessageHello
It is an interesting subject! I have no answer to you. I have never been with many girls at the same time. But I have been thinking about the subject, some and been reading about it.
I have a teacher I visit from time to time from the Indian tantra system. She has multiple partners. She lives with many, I guess men, at the same time. What she teaches is that you have to be in love with them, otherwise it is equal to prostitution.
I donīt think of it so dramatically. I think there are several different ways to live your life. What seems to be the idealistic relationship is where you combine sex and love. and also spirituality. But I donīt think life always follows idealistic situations. Things happens in life and perhaps during periods of time you need to examine different paths.
To have sex with a woman or have many partners at the same time is not bad. To hurt people or manipulate people is bad though. I feel that sincerety of what it is all about is important. It will be more difficult if the woman you are with are in love with you, then it might not be right to continue, I donīt know.
Mantak Chia writes something about that if you not are in love with the person you have sex with it is anyway important to act in a loving and suportive way, especially if you are practising sexual kung fu. That is beacase sexual energy expands any feelings and there might be alot of bad feelings if you have sex, do retention, and treat the woman badly.
I think at least some taoists text recomend you to have one woman at a time, beacase it takes enough to ballance one realationship at a time. To mix with many woman migth be a difficult thing. But I have also read taoist that writes about having more than one woman at a time and even having sex with more than one woman at the same moment.
Someway it is always up to you to decide if you are ready to go into a sincere relationship or if you just want to play around. To decide to be in a serious relationhip is your own choise and I think you should not think about it as an obligation for you when you are having sex with a woman. To have sex after you newly have met eachother is a thing that of course just is sex and nothing else. There is no need to moralise against that. The sex might be equaly needed for both of you. But of course even thoug you thing you are out for just sex you might be in love with the woman, and then you perhaps want to be with her even though your life is in some kind of mess. If you both are in love there might be a chanse that you can handle your situation anyway.
Something with taoism is that you should not have fixed moral rules to follow. Instead you should learn to feel what is right from situtaion to situaiton and be able to adapt your behaviour to the sercomstances. But perhaps you are not always able to find the right solution to your life in any sitution. Antother thing I can see from some taoist text, I ching for example, is not to hurry. If you not hurry with your love or sex affairs you have more time to feel what is right or what is wrong. I think when it comes to sex it is enough to feel if the sex seems to be right for both of you, then it propably is right to.
I think that if you want to have multiple sex partners the most important thing is to relay declare for the woman you are daiting, that this is your intention. You are living your life in this way at least for the moment. And then you know you have no obligations to do anything else either. You have to make this wery clear so that it not can be missunderstood, thats what I think.
I one taoistish system that I have studied a litle the woman have multiple sex partners and she meet them just for a couple of times to not create emotions betwean them, so that they can meet just sexualy.
There are many things that makes this a bit difficult to accomplish. Perhaps you will feel empty after a while if you just have sex and not any emotional relationship. There is also a possibility that it will create a feeling of being used or guilt of just using the woman for sex. Such and other feelings might create alot of unhappiness and the sex might not be worth it. But I think that you have to examine all this for yourself. I think at least that it is not worth to listen to some kind of morality that tells you that this is wrong. I donīt think it is wrong by itself, it deepends on the situation.
There seems to be many difficult obstacles with beeing with many woman at the same time. I think there is as many obstacles and oportunities as it is when you are in a more normal relationship.
At least if you have many girls or woman at the same time you have the opportunity to find out about what feels right for yourself. You have the opportunity to get experiences. And you might even find the one you might to marry! Scarry isnīt it! And then there might not be any need for meeting anybody else. That was what happened to Wendy on this forum, and we talked about this issue for not so long ago.
One important thing is if you want to go into a serious relationship then it has to feel realy right. In the meantime it is up to you to treat your sexuality in the wisest possibel way.
Doing retention you get also alot of sexual pros. It is important I think to not use the woman in a bad way, whatever that means? Pehaps you have to learn to be realy loving supporting and understunding, if you want to do this in the right way.
How would you deal with the situations that might arise that a woman will be realy in love with you, while you are having sex with her and with other woman. How will you deal with the situation that you yourself will fall in love and you not want to have a relationship?
This is big issues! The taoism is a realy free religion conserning these matters, it deals with sexuality alot more with a sence of what is healthy than with morality. I think the western moral view about sex is realy terrible and we need to find new wais of dealing with sex. Perhaps you should be more conserned about is this sex you do with the women healthy or not healthy. Is it good for you and the women and people around.
I had newly a relationhip for instance with a married woman and I decided to not have intercourse with that women before she could be with me openly, which she never could. I thought that it should not be good for non of us in the long run if we created a emotinal and sexual relationhip, at the same time that she lived with her husband that not new about what was happening. I thought somehow that that situtation should create bad karma. But perhaps I was wrong, perhaps we had been together now in a nice love afair, but no I donīt think so.
Do some experiment with this and realise that you have right to do it, if that is what you need. Try to be onest loving and supporting. Try to think not only on yourself, but if this is good to everybody involved. Enjoy the moments. Do not heistate. Be careful with owerindulgence with sex. Not either think that your life sitation necessarily has to be perfect to create a good nice relationship. Try to fix your problems whatever they are, and try to be somewhat realistic about your options in life, and what you realy need, even at more basic levels as well as at spiritual levels.
Well use a condome so that you not get or give venerical deaseses. Enjoy life and also let unexpected things happen. Follow the flow so to speak. Decide from moement to moement what is right or wrong and skip the fixed rules that you have from your society.
That was just some thougth about this huge and interesting subject.
SD
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