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what is surrenderingFrom: Swedich Dragon
Subject: Practice
Date/Time 2010-07-11 13:30:03
Remote IP: 84.217.113.9
MessageHello! Answer to both Steven and Wendy
For me one thing is realy important also. That is that I realy got a result from my program. A result that was bigger than earlier trials. I try all the time to do new things keep at them for a while and see if they give any results, if they do I want to continue with them. This new total aproach was actually quite succesful, that is the reason I keep on doing it.
One difficulty with such a method to do alot of things at the same thing is that you realy donīt know which part that actually does the job. Perhaps it is so easy that it is the fact that I go to bed earlier, that gives more than 90 % of the result and many of the others doesnīt work. But I usually think in another way. I think if this work I at least know that this couple of treatments together does work, and that is fine.
Steven was talking about intention. The intention is clear to me, the intention is wery deeply set in my mind or in my soul, true deep hypnotice like processes during my early years of treatment. In those processes I told myself that I will be free from this ilness beacase I will keep on working with my health untill I have found a solution.
During the process there are many people that have alot of comments and ideas of what work and what not work. My idea is to actully try to be open to any method except what philosophical or methological backround there are.
For instance I have tried to do different kind of Qigong and also sexual retention practises, but they have hardly helped. I can say that one thing helps that is during periods of time when I practise for about four hours a day. What happens during thoose periods is that I got extremely tiered. I sleep for more than 14 hour a day and are not realy any efective during the other few hours I have left either. It makes it extremely difficult to just make food or do the things you have to do for everyday life, even though you are not working. After going true such periods of time for some weaks I did feal much better. But I have to admit that such a huge amount of practise I havenīt had the possibility to do, or the will power :)
The retention practise haven't realy helped with my level of qi or with my cold syndrome. It seems not to work the way I have used it. Perhaps dual cultivation should be much better. Perhaps also adding more fire into the sexual practise which is water, should help. Havenīt realy tried it jet.
To follow this program of adrenal fatigue and some of my own ideas, is somewhat promissing. I admit that my aproach is somewhat technical or way not to say it is technical or mechanical. But on the other side I do quite alot of free qigong practises every day. Those practises are more freeer than before and I have also been better at doing the iron shirt part. I am able to do it in a more relaxed way. One practise I newly have exploed is to do the lotus flower meditation during a standing three stance. The lotus flower is a nice practise that mix enegies betwean the heart and the kidneys, using thoose six healing sounds to draw energies inbetwean those organs. You also work with heaven taking in energy from the sun and with the earth taking in energy from the earth. I guess doing the iron shirt in a relaxed way has something to do with surendering to the earth also.
So I guess after I have been thinking a litle of the ideas of surrendering and intention that: I will continue with my program even though it is wery will oriented. If wendy is on the right track then if I do a program that realy is wery will oriented and if it not work good, then I probably got more tiered of it and the cycle of changes might occur and a natural streangthening of giving up or perhaps keeping the intention of being more fit and healthy, but letting it be done by surrendering instead of willpower. So actually going true the program with greate willpower in it mihgt actually letting me come closer to surrendering. That is the way I see it for the moment.
I think though that there is a more deep philosophical understunding in what Wendy did write to me and perhaps I am able to add some surrendering into the program and perhaps as Steven told me, with surrendering there might be a natural way of letting go of bad habbits that not rely need so much will power at all. That would of course be fantastic!
The surrendering to the earth is realy something that I can add to my program true the yoga and qigong practises I use on a daily basis. I actually thing that is something that is inherent in any such kind of practise. And by keep on doing such practises the surrendering to any processes will increase automatically. The idea to work more connected to the earth is a part of my intention in my practise actually since a long time. The earth connection is also wery weak in patience with adrenal fatigue and that kind of practises has been a huge obstacle in my 10 years of studying in this system. But I think I do some progress. Actually to do the iron shirt for instance in a way that is more a sort of a yin aproach is much better than as I did practise before with an intention of reaching a sertain number of breaths for instance. But maybe it is good to mix such methods with eachother, sometimes more yin and sometimes more yang to take benefit from both approaches.
The lotus flower meditation in the standing three pose I think considerably help me to ground myself. But often I also do the practise in this way. I stand and correct the structure, first I go true the body quite unsystematically, then I contintue with going true the structure from the feet up true the body. When up in the head I start a relaxing process going down true the whole body. And then I go up and down with alternating structural corrections and relaxations. Quite a nice way of doing it I think.
CONCLUSION:
I will adapt my program somewhat, but continueing it. I will think about the earth connectedness and surrendering to the earth at least during my two weaks vacation, starting tomorrow. Quite nice thing to do during vacation actually! I will perhaps in the future find more deeper level changes to the program, when I better understund what part of it doesnīt work so good. What is an factor for changes is if the program works or not, that is if it is possible to follow and or if it gives enoug postive results. The program which I havenīt precented everything of jet are also to be increased when Iīm ready, that is to add more things and more methods. Some of them I do wait with beacase it is to much to do at once and some I wait with beacase I wait to have enough money to do them.
Apreciations for your comments. It is of help actually to have people around that gives interest to the process. Even though I fear that people think that I am stubborn with following my own ideas, but that is a part of the strong willlpower needed, I guess.
Now it is time to watch the socker ball World Championship final!
Bye for now, SD
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