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Deep Essay on Inner Smile practice (Aaron Rothenburg)From: Michael Winn
Subject: Practice
Date/Time 2009-08-13 17:45:48
Remote IP: 66.32.27.162
MessageBy Aaron Rothenburg (a student of mine,posted on facebook).
ACCEPTANCE
The world we live in is based on criticism. We are taught from a young age that the way things are now are not really what we want but if we just do whatever things will be better. The newspaper (which I haven't read in years!) is just full of criticism. If only this guy would have done that, and look how stupid this guy is, etc. Even goals many times imply criticism, diet goals - when I reach that weight I am ok, now I am flawed; educational goals, if I get that grade I am good, otherwise I am not good; work goals. Basically the world is in a constant state of criticism and their are multiple layers. People who are depressed will be upset at themselves for not being happy. People who are critical of others, then criticize themselves for their criticism.
Criticism creates a spit, a duality, there is me, that's one, and then there is the idea, person, whatever that I criticize that is separate from me. This duality prevents any control over the other. It is separate and I disapprove.
Acceptance creates oneness. I merge with the other, in essence there is no other and I connect to the reality of oneness, implying that criticism creates a lie, an illusion of duality. Once I am feeling the oneness deeply, I can have control over the "other" since it is not other but me.
I believe this is the goal of religions and meditation - to become one with G-d, and hopefully to then have control hopefully for noble purposes of healing, and works of kindness and service to others.
So criticism leads to powerlessness and acceptance gives one great power in accordance to the level of acceptance exerted. Think for a moment how different this is to the world we live in of rallies, protests, scathing arguments, name calling, wars.
One person sitting at home in a deep level of all encompassing acceptance has more power and control then all this other energies funneled into criticism. Who would you rather be?
As an aside: I noticed in my wanderings that when I express this or other ideas to people, some literally seem to go deaf and dumb. I believe that people will come to understand when they are ready, just like people come to meditate with me when they are ready. No matter how much I tell people about the amazing benefits on their lives, they just can't hear it. At first it annoyed me, but this is something that I have learned to accept :).
After 14 years of knowing my wife, only this past week have I learned and integrated how to accept her fully. Until now what annoyed me was that she didn't accept me. Now I have learned to accept that too. I have become passive to allow her to have the security and space to become more active and to feel she is accepted. From this place she has started making interesting changes. It took me 14 years to learn not to criticize her for not accepting me. I consider myself very lucky!
If you are walking down the street and someone yells at you and you get angry, accept the anger. Don't say to yourself "I should accept that they yelled at me" and criticize your own anger. Always practice accepting the outermost layer. With practice the anger will flow through you so quickly that you won't be feeling it for long and will activate it like a tool, a mode, when you need it. Then you can begin accepting the dude yelling at you because it won't trigger anything in you, you simply accept it.
Acceptance is very similar to indifference but also very different. I accept you, I feel one with you, we are one, we want to live, we want to be happy. Acceptance is active. Whatever you do is fine, it's as if I am doing it but yet some things you might do are not conducive to a path of growth. If you do certain things I will step in a stop you, in certain situations, permanently. This does contain an element of implied criticism, but it is immediately accepted - ironic? The criticism is just one more occasional tool or feeling that is activated to serve me and not the opposite.
I bless you all with wonderful dreams and acceptance of whatever may come.
As an afterthought it occurred to me that true forgiveness is just retroactive acceptance...interesting!
http://ACCEPTANCE
- Deep Essay on Inner Smile practice (Aaron Rothenburg): (471) Michael Winn (1575) - - 2009-08-13 5:45 pm
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