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Anal sex from female perspectiveFrom: wendy
Subject: Philosophy
Date/Time 2009-04-29 05:27:02
Remote IP: 84.197.161.231
MessageOf course I am only able to speak as a receiver and I will only speak from my own experiences.
And I see two different ways with anal sex:
1. The animal oriented sex pleasure from it, you might see porn as a sort of end point of what is reachable with it, a lust driven hunger to take and to be taken in its most raw form, often but not always related to the urge of dominate and to be dominated.
2. The energetic emotional exchange where both partners have an emotional energetic awareness of what is happening.
For a energetic emotional/sensitive female (and my very guess males as well) the boundary of the anus is one that needs A LOT of trust. A lot of emotions are stuck there (as Steven mentioned well), so activating that area has to be done with love and trust giving feelings. The way you enter the anus tells a lot of how you are as a person, caring or dominating, this underlying signal is picked up by the sensitive other. If the signal is caring there is a deepening of trust and a big chance the heart will respond accordingly, if there is the subtle signal dominate, no need to explain that the heart will react with caution.
Another issue is the 'letting go', some people have control issues, and can not relax the anus at all, of course penetration will cause lots of pain.
Yet some women will force themselves to give their partner the 'pleasure' of anal sex but are hurting their deeper sensitive self, so be very alert and caring if you observe this behavior.
Others will have issues with 'pain' and can not pass that boundary.
Of course these are exactly very interesting issues to work with as a couple.
The feeling with anal sex is very different than the heart centered vagina-penis connection. It is more raw and is not feeding the heart directly but indirectly through emotional trust mentioned above.
The (energetic) ejaculation of the male will reach the brain instead of the heart.
There is definite a very different connection and a very different feeling vagina-penis vs anus-penis.
The more the woman can relax with you the better the penetration can happen. First time(s) is ALWAYS painful and the way it happens will be the yes or a no of wether she wants more of it or will refuse it, unless she shuts down her deeper sensitive feelings. So being very loving and caring will give more chance for a yes in future.
For the sfincter part: that is very personal. Some people are very fine with it, can have anal sex daily without problems. Other people will suffer greatly, can not walk the day after, will have problems with bowl movement, having ruptures etc. Of course the tips Steven gave with lubricant and such are to be looked at.
So this is a very personal path you walk as a 'couple'.
I remember Pietro mentioning his take on anal vs vagina penetration on this forum a long time ago, so you might look for it. Or maybe he can add his take on it again if still reading this forum.
A note: in some cultures or religions, like islam, they use a lot of anal sex to keep the woman a virgin for marriage.
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