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Re: Underneath the painFrom: Rainbowbear
Subject: General
Date/Time 2005-05-01 13:10:16
Remote IP: 24.70.95.205
MessageNothing to say ...... I sometimes swear quite a bit at the universe when I am very angry ... actually I quite scream it. For some reasons the use of profanity gives my anger more clout. More of a shock ... to myself I guess. Profanity for one on one conversation is a bad habit to get into - this is my belief. Especially in disagreements or conversations where one person is trying to get the other to understand or notice their issues. If you get 2 people trying to "shock" the other the whole essence of what they are discussing or arguing seems to get lost. The issues seem to slide back to the old pre-adolescent days of who can hit or push the hardest is the better. Understanding is a much better way to go and I think that understanding comes with good communication. Profanity does not open the door to that. My opinion.
I have found that sometimes one will find what they need to travel on in the most unbelievable or surprising places. Sometimes it can just be a word or even poetry. I have worked with scientists most of my life and they may be good at the research they do but a lot of times their "life", their understanding of it, their practise with Tao is no better or worse
than the fellow who empties their garbage cans at night. I don't think that it is wise to say that people who write "light" words do nothing to encourage other's journeys. That is probably a great misguided notion. And sometimes reading how so many are trying so hard to find the way and will subject themselves to many hours of uncomfortable pain to find it, and the anguish they feel at not "being there". Maybe reading these things helps some to see. That these things are maybe helpful in some cases but maybe not so necessary in others. That maybe in our seeking we create such things for our minds to keep busy whilst our spirit becomes stronger. Maybe we need to experience the downfall before ourself will finally give it up and listen to our own wisdom. Maybe after seeking our enlightenment with many teachers who have befallen our trust and faith, maybe then we will finally be able to see that our enlightenment lies within our self. Where each of us lies in that journey is so individual. I just like it that finally this forum allows others to read everyone's journeys and that there are now other seekers who post encouraging words instead of profanity and derugatory remarks to female kind and in fact other human kind on their excuse that earth must experience the dark as well as the white. And for some to further their journey they must truly go deep within the dark recesses of their souls and be the "dark". To me, these are the ones who have given up the hope, who have taken the easy way and these are the ones who require the heart of all to help be guided back. There are limits and as with death, sometimes a choice is final, sometimes there is no more "what ifs", sometimes it just becomes the "wrong way". I watched my father die and saw his last breath leave his body and I felt the fear of death for just one millisecond, the feel of oh my god, I can't go back ... this is how strongly the soul wants to stay .... but then the passing over and acceptance was there. So quickly. But there is total finality of it all. Sometimes here on this earth we play with energy and beliefs as if they do not mean anything. But they mean great things. If you died today have you said all that you wanted to say, all that you wanted to feel and done all that you wanted to do. Have you lived you heart. And that doesn't always mean having $ or travel, but in your heart, listen ... have you done what makes the heart feel good.
And sometimes we muck around in all of this energy work with innocence and ingnorance. Sometimes we turn the wrong way, sometimes we need help. Sometimes it can seem as if it is too late. Sometimes for some it may be. But that doesn't mean that we should ever give up hope of helping ourselves or any one else. Not until that last breath leaves our body, and maybe not even after that. To think that even watching a bird fly cannot save ones soul is very ignorant. To think such things is minimizing what the creator has given every living thing on this planet. To have power is not such a bad thing but what your intention is once you have that power, that can be not so good. All of the exercises listed here and elsewhere do provide strengthening but I do believe that a pure heart is essential in development. Sometimes I think there are ones that forget that. However to attain pure heart is also very individual. Comes very karma, ancestors, maybe even curses over generations, maybe even vows taken or broken. Genetetics and culture. Many different recipes.
I just don't believe in the black recipes and I don't believe they need have a place. No matter what anyone else says. I cannot judge those who practise such but I do not go that way. And I just think it is a good thing that instead of being subjected to profanity and all such vulgar things this site also offers the opportunity to say mundance things of energy growth, that there is an openness to many things and many questions. And until people become comfortable with the fact that if they ask something someone else is not always going to "shoot them down" with "What are these people talking about, they know nothing, why can't they have the balls to say what they mean right out, what are you self rightious, sacrminious, go F your mother". You know these kinds of things that have been said on this forum before, they are very degrading, (degrading to the one who said them and the one who they are intended for - it is a double sword) they are very aggressive, they say to me that the person behind those words wants to be in power, that to me smells of a weakness in their nature which desperately requires attention to before they should travel to higher level. When people who are on this forum have the comfort to be able to say what they mean without having someone else totally tear their heart out for it that is when this forum will reach its peak in healing and knowledge. I just wish those people who figure that energetic power goes hand in hand with badassing and bad foul language open their own eyes and hearts to truth in themselves instead of calling everyone else down. I accept you as a person, as a human but I do not accept your language and I do not accept your narrowmindedness in the following of Tao and I will no longer accept any derugatory remarks on white light workers, good open hearts, or otherwise. Doesn't mean I don't love you all, just that I don't agree with you. And it feels damn good that I can say that here ... now.
My growth now, my concentration is on listening to wisdom self and encouraging MY SELF to let go of its own mind and ego control. Damn hard that one is. Discerning can be difficult - I find that if one tries too hard it the input gets mixed up with other energies and own mind energies. Keeping the input clear can be hard enough but acting on the input is even more difficult. Keeping the iregularities out of practice, out of mind,..... having wisdom self lead with creator as guide, this is not so easy. Finding someone to help guide without their own manipulation is even more not so easy. If anyone has figured that one out let me know. It is difficult to contain oneself within such energetic bombarding as we find in our everyday life, difficult to contain what is self, accept the true energy while filtering out what is not truth and then still have the clarity on what to do with that while living your daily life. Damn it. The monks and nuns who live in monasteries and do this stuff, well I have to give them credit but how the heck does one do such things and live here in amongst family, job, neighbours, pets, responsiblities. I tell you, when one can figure this part out we will have the world by the "balls". (no offense intended).
Well, it is Sunday, kind of a dreary day. Off to do laundry, see my mom, go for a walk and a little bit of business.
Thanks for everyone's expressions of self. We are so lucky to be so different in all that we do. Can you imagine how boring it would be otherwise.
Rainbows!!!!
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