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The conversation with a sexual abused clientFrom: wendy
Subject: General
Date/Time 2010-04-25 10:04:46
Remote IP: 84.197.163.209
Message30 minutes after posting my first one, the universe offered me a great mirror through a relative new client of mine who struggles with sexual and emotional abuse.
I called her to reschedule an appointment and she asked if she could talk with me on the phone as she felt bad and did not know how to proceed further - since we started to work on her issues the suppressed feelings start to manifest to the surface.
To my surprise the conversation took a turn where she expressed that she felt lousy that after 30 years she was still struggling with the past, like that part was too overwhelming and too big to deal with...
~It was like I was listening to my own inner conversations of the past and very very recent present.
She felt alone and not heard, nobody to really turn to with her story and her feelings as people around her did not seem to care really, did not understand or being oblivious or ignorant. Yet also not being able to communicate about it, a hiding from the world ~ I know that one all too well.
She felt a screaming inside, even like being hysterical but there is no way to direct it. Even real screaming or yelling is not helping to release some of the tensions. She felt that so far all her books, her therapies, doctors and therapists did not unlock that feeling. ~ no maps
How her memories were so vague that she was telling herself that she was making it up, was she fantasizing everything? ~ (I told myself that countless times, that it could not be real, that I made it up, that was one of the major struggles)
But her body clearly remembered yet her memories were forgotten. She too expressed that as a major conflict inside herself.
She blamed herself that she was wondering how much was her own mistake or 'openness' that made it happen. ~ as Michael stated being too open
etc etc
I too have experienced it as an invasion of my Self, it was an invasion in my energybody, and through my energybody into my physical body, my mind and my emotions, I had all the symptoms of an abused victim.
Also because the one in Michaels class was a VERY sexual intrusive experience.
I am chewing a bit more on it...
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