Boundaries - high voltage




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Boundaries - high voltage

From: wendy
Subject: General
Date/Time 2010-04-23 07:29:16
Remote IP: 84.197.163.209

Message

I had been doing repeatedly basic, fusion and bone marrow courses AND took intense bodywork classes and treatments to help me ground as I understood that was a problem for me.

YET I was not prepared for the amount of energy that ran through my body during the events, high voltage through wires that were hardly prepared for it (or maybe that was the whole purpose of it, who will say, I will never know, because I did NOT lose my mind, I worked it through for years after but I managed it, and made me much stronger and aware).

Yes boundaries is a very interesting topic, because how much do we allow, how much do we stretch, for it to be healthy. My wiring system was not well prepared and the stretching of it came very unexpected (but how can you be prepared for something like that).

I do have wounds from it though, invasions like that are not without scars.
One of it is, that I don't allow myself anymore to go so deep into meditations, I keep 'an eye' on how deep I sink in. I build a guardian system that monitors the coming and going of energies and keeps a strong eye of feeling my center. Doing so I can stretch out as far AS I WANT, yet I am not losing the inner ground.

But I do understand that there is fear underneath, and that is my next task to deal with.
A very important aspect of the acceptance and 'healing' of all that is my relationship with Chris (Voice). I can talk and share with him about it all as it is talking about the breakfast we will have. It is part of our life together, it is part of our relationship. He says it is BECAUSE of it that we found each other.
Without him I would still feel isolated. I had been building a fortress to keep everything in place and safe. He released me out of my cave. Since being released, I am trying to find a new balance, a bit more in the open and keeping more options open.


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