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Sex, love, fear and guiltFrom: Alexander Alexis
Subject: General
Date/Time 2007-07-18 14:32:54
Remote IP: 67.0.206.3
Message
Dear "A",
Jason is correct when he says you lose more through guilt, fear and worry than the act itself, and that each one of us has to find his own way. Michael Winn, himself, in one of the first classes I took with him, stated unqualifiedly that "It's not about sperm". It's about the energy loss, and if you recirculate properly for awhile, even with a physical orgasm you will have more energy after than before- but not if you are in fear when you do it. Fear indicates that the heart and the kidneys are not working in tandem and if your heart is not connected to your sex act you WILL lose energy. You will be unable to connect the heart if you are judging yourself for having sex...Think about it. It's really all about love.
There are many systems out there and it is wise to remember that we are preoccupied (usually) with finding the right one. Whatever you learn at any level you have to make your own. There is no other way. THE Way is the way you find which is Your Own Way. So I would say, especially considering the feeling I get from your writing, to begin to trust yourself to know what to do and to study what you are drawn to even if you THINK you might be wrong. You have to start somewhere and work from there. You will make "mistakes." You will learn. You will find your own way. You have to see what works and what doesn't work for you through experience in order to be able to correct things as you go along. Instead of crying about your dilemma, start laughing at it and enjoy yourself. (Smile)
Work mostly on balancing the many areas that this path encompasses. The sexual techniques are not central, imo, but secondary to the meditation and movement practices which teach you how to communicate with the lifeforce as it wants to move through you. You will learn what to do with your sexual energy as you develop these practices. I strongly urge you to explore your fears and your pain because that is where the real work is. Teach yourself to challenge the parts of you that want to scare you and the parts that make you want to control things. That's just resistance. You will build true will by doing so.
It is likely that the center of this issue for you is sexual guilt which means accepting yourself at the most basic body level and transmuting the shame you will find there. And that is where the greatest rewards are because alchemy, which is what sex is about, is the union of earth/fem and heaven/masc in oneself. Trust yourself. Keep moving. Smile...
Love and blessings, Alexander
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